I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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