we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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