I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize