I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
This toilet bowl is my home.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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