We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
being pregnant is like rehab
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
