we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
