just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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