Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
