I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
