Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize