I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
