He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Operation Purity has been aborted
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize