We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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