The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
