but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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