Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
