Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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