Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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