I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
