If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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