i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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