Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize