I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
