What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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