Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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