So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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