shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
