i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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