I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I need a beard to bite.
the raccoons are back...
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