i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
