those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
