in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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