yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
