how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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