She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
