what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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