why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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