hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize