that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
