He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Dignity is for republicans.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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