Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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