Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
