I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
