they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize