i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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