well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
