Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
