either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
