you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
