Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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