how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize