Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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